We all get upset, insulted or put out by what other people say at one time or another. We all know someone, or some people that can push our buttons, right?
What if I were to tell you that they are not the person pushing your buttons? What if you actually had no buttons at all?
How can this be so? Well, the truth is, we can be fine with one person saying something and yet another person saying the exact same thing will wound us. This tells us that it is not the other person pushing buttons, it is us. Someone saying something to us is exactly that! Someone saying something. It is an external event to us.
Could it be that what makes words hurt, offend or not, is what we do inside our minds?
If someone we consider rude or unhelpful says something negative, inside our minds we say, ‘well that’s just them isn’t it? They are always like that.’ And we take no offence. However the same unhelpful thing said by someone we consider nice or a friend, then it is hurtful and personal.
Our values and beliefs, along with how we think about how others should or shouldn’t behave, are the biggest influencing factor on the difference between getting annoyed, upset or not. We have no buttons and if we did, it would be us who are are pushing them.